Parents always wonder if they are doing the right things for their children, especially when they're trying to talk about traumatic events such as Sept. 11, 2001. Judith Myers-Walls, a child development specialist at Purdue University, said one of the most important things adults can offer children is a sense of security.

"It's important for parents to do something about those important issues so that the kids feel a sense of hope. There's a story about someone who asked a classroom of kids in the 1980s, 'How many of you think there will be a nuclear war in your lifetime?' and all but one of the kids raised their hands. She asked that one child, 'Why didn't you raise your hand?' And he said, 'Because my parents are out every day trying to make sure that doesn't happen.' "

But she warned about promising more than you can provide.

"I think some parents feel like they need to tell the kids, 'Don't worry. I'll never let anything bad happen to you.' I think that can get parents in trouble because parents don't have that kind of control."

Instead, she said, "Parents can tell the kids, 'I will do everything I can to keep you safe and make sure bad things don't happen to you.' And then they also can tell the kids, 'No matter what else happens, I will love you, and I'll be there for you.' "

Teachers also should offer children an opportunity to vent. "I think it's important to let the teachers get a sense for what's going on in their classroom. Ask the kids whether they want to talk about anything that is going on. Give them a chance to express their ideas. Ask the kids maybe to draw pictures about what has been happening."

Myers-Walls has created a Web site that addresses how to talk to children about traumatic events. Go to http://www.ces.purdue. edu/terrorism//response.html for advice.

ASSISTANT EDITOR: Rebecca Salois, 14.

REPORTERS: Jordan Denari, 13; Akilah Michel, 13; Daniel Morgan, 11; Lauren Seaman, 13; Christina Wadelton, 10.