As spectators, parents can take fun out of games

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AS SPECTATORS, PARENTS CAN TAKE FUN OUT OF GAMES

When anger intervenes, play becomes a downer, athletes say

January 27, 2002

Have you ever seen parents beating each other with clubs, chains and brass knuckles at a youth sporting event?

According to three Lawrence Township students, such actions aren't far from the truth. After all, a Massachusetts man was just convicted of beating to death another man after a youth hockey practice.

Payton DeLong, 15; Nicole Sharp, 13; and Lauren Hobert, 12, all participate in athletics. Payton plays soccer, volleyball and basketball; Nicole plays soccer; and Lauren is involved in basketball, volleyball and softball. All have seen altercations among coaches, referees and other parents.

Parents who yell

LAUREN: Almost every time I go to basketball, all the parents are fighting with the referees. Parents also are fighting against parents, and it's not fair for the kids to watch their parents fight. I mean, it's just a game!

NICOLE: I've seen a couple of those games, and the kids really get discouraged and confused because they don't know who to believe or who to listen to -- the parents or the coaches.

PAYTON: In an indoor soccer game I had in seventh grade, the referee was very bad. One of the parents on the other team started yelling at one of the parents on our team (who) was yelling at the ref because one of our guys got hurt and they didn't call it. . . . Then the ref yelled back in profane language, and then our parent yelled back in profane language. And the ref was never asked to come back to the indoor soccer place and neither was the parent.

Their parents' behavior

PAYTON: I've been very blessed. My parents have been very restrained in several games even when I have probably done stuff I shouldn't have.

NICOLE: My parents have never really embarrassed me. They know that I don't do well if people yell at me.

LAUREN: My dad usually yells at me during practice if I do something wrong. My dad just criticizes me, which I don't like.

Parental expectations

PAYTON: Parents (who yell) are often the ones I don't like to see on my team because their child usually has an inflated ego, and that doesn't help the team at all.

LAUREN: My dad always tells me that I'm gonna grow up to be the next Michael Jordan -- I'm gonna succeed in everything that I do.

NICOLE: My parents are always saying that I'll be able to do whatever I want as long as I keep going with it, but I don't know if that's true some of the time.

NICOLE: I think parents should set a good example for their kids and keep their mouths shut most of the time, unless it's encouragement.

LAUREN: (Yelling) just takes time from the game, and it brings everyone down when they see a guy being removed for yelling too much.

PAYTON: I think parents should be quiet because usually they don't know what they're talking about, and they're undermining the coach's authority. Parents should yell encouragement and leave the coaching to the coaches because that's what they're paid to do.

NICOLE: I've seen it happen before, and the coach gets mad at the kid and it affects the kid's playing time. So I don't think it's fair to the kid.

LAUREN: If they're yelling at you, that's going to bring you down more than it's going to bring you up. Parents think that you're going to play harder if someone yells at you, but you just feel bad.

Silent Saturdays

PAYTON: Central Indiana would benefit from employing a method like Silent Saturday. I wouldn't have it totally silent because there is nothing more discouraging (than) when you score a goal or you make an incredible basket and no one can cheer because it has to be silent.

LAUREN: I think that it's totally fair. I mean, some of the parents get way too out of control, and they need to have something like that.

NICOLE: I would say no (to Silent Saturdays) because then the parents wouldn't be able to give the kids any encouragement, and that probably won't help very much either.

Reporters: Julie McDowell, 13; and Kelly Daniels, 12.

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