When Pam Wright was 17, her cousin died, leaving three young children. She felt sorry for her second cousins because she realized they needed to grieve, but society discouraged them from grieving publicly.

As Wright grew older and lost some of her loved ones, she felt lost, too. "I felt like if I could only talk about it, it would help me," she said. "I felt kind of isolated and alone."

Wright began researching centers where families or individual children can go to get help with their sorrow. She found scores of centers throughout the country that served children, but none in the Indianapolis area.

So in 1997, she founded Brooke's Place for Grieving Young People. Now the executive director, Wright says Brooke's Place is open to grieving youths and their parents or guardians.

Brooke's Place is named for Brooke Wright, whose father died in a plane crash six years ago. Brooke had benefited from some of the short-term support groups after her father's death, but she told Wright, who was a family friend, that she wished there was more help.

"She kept asking the question, 'Well, what can I do now? I need to talk more and I need more help,' " Wright recalled.

Brooke's Place offers support groups for young people ages 3 to 22 (and their parents or guardians) who have lost a loved one. Participants meet twice a month for pizza and cake at St. Luke's United Methodist Church on the Far Northside, and they can come back to Brooke's Place as long as they need to.

Grieving can be unpredictable and uncontrollable. Researchers have found that people can go through as many as 80 reactions to a death of a loved one. Emotions can begin at any time, and they can stop just as suddenly as they appear.

"Kids grieve a little differently than adults do. They don't always show how sad they are. They'll be thinking about it, but they might not be talking about it," Wright said.

Kids go to Brooke's Place to share their feelings with trusted people of their own age and older. Y-Press recently spoke with two girls there.

Sabrina Wernicke, 12, and Patience Busche, 10, lost their mothers to cancer. "I felt really, really sad and kind of lost," recalled Sabrina, who was 6 at the time. "I remember her being funny and not much else because I was younger and I don't remember that much."

"I was just really mad and sad," Patience added. "My family was really close to my mom."

Both received a lot of help from their families. "My dad let me know that he was always there for me, and my neighbor (did, too). When my mom died, I was over at her house, and she helped a lot and she was really encouraging," Sabrina said. Her and Patience's families also had to deal with the loss. "I could tell that everyone missed her a lot," Sabrina said. "I never saw my dad cry or anything, but I know he missed her a lot, and my sister was really sad and kind of closed away."

"My dad, you could tell he was really sad a lot," Patience said.

But their families had to go through some changes.

"After my mom died, my dad and my sister fought a lot," Sabrina said. "I'm sure they would have anyway, but it was different because my sister would have talked to my mom."

Sabrina's family has worked through many of those difficulties, and her dad is remarried to a woman who was a friend of Sabrina's mother's. "She's a pretty good second to my mom," she said.

Patience's family is going through some adjustments. "My brothers aren't always as nice anymore, and they're acting weird because nobody's stopping them from being mean," she said. And her dad "doesn't really do the same stuff that he did when she was around. And he doesn't really take us out to places much."

Teachers and school administrators can be a source of support for grieving children, Wright said. Both girls said their relationships with teachers and friends have remained the same.

"It really didn't change that much. People kept on apologizing and trying not to talk about her a lot, but I didn't feel left out," Patience said.

"School was pretty much the same, except that everyone was like apologizing for something that they couldn't help," Sabrina said.

As time passes, it may appear that the pain has gone away or that children are over the death, but it is always with them. Sabrina said, "I feel a real sense of loss because most of my friends have their moms to talk to. I've been missing her a lot."

She continued: "Brooke's Place has helped, and I'm sure it will help a lot more because I can say anything there about how I feel, and I can trust that no one will tell it or they won't laugh at me."

Brooke's Place can be reached at (317) 255-2442. Information about programs can be found on its Web site (www.brookesplace.org).

REPORTERS: Rebecca Salois, 11; Lauren Slemenda, 12; Sarah Wenzel, 11; and Alicia Strong, 13.