Being a teen-ager is difficult, but when Children's Express talked with members of Indiana Youth Group (a support group for gay youths), we learned that problems of isolation and their search for identity are compounded when a kid is gay.

Adolescent homosexuals attempt suicide at a higher rate than their heterosexual counterparts. Young lesbians are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide, and adolescent gays are seven to eight times more likely to attempt suicide, according to a 1989 report from the Secretary of Health and Human Services entitled, Youth and Suicide.

This roundtable also helped us to understand what it is like to be gay. It helped to confirm our beliefs that, just as with race, sex or religion, a person should not be discriminated against because of his or her sexuality.

Being gay

LAWRENCE, 19: There are so many theories as to why a person is gay _ it's genetic, it's environment, it's rebellion against your parents. But what it isn't is a choice.

HAROLD, 19: I've known since I was 8 years old. I knew I was different. I had a crush on my math teacher. I was wondering why. I knew I was different from then on.

KEITH, 20: Ever since I was in middle school or before, I had the question (of whether I was gay), but I didn't know.

KEVIN, 16: I'm not really completely gay. I mean I am bisexual. . . . I had to accept being straight, because all my friends wanted me to be straight. Then I had to accept being gay, because all my friends automatically assumed that I was gay because I was as feminine as I was. Now I am starting to accept the fact that I am bisexual, because that's who I really am.

KEITH: I'd tell any straight person that we're not really any different, except for our sexual preference. And people are slowly beginning to understand that.

CHRISTOPHER, 18: I think that "sexual preference" is a very bad word, because that makes everybody else think that this whole homosexuality issue is based on the bedroom. But really, it goes much further into emotional bonding and stuff.

KEITH: To me, it's just a label. That's the only way I see it. I don't think it's bad, it's just a way of classifying somebody.

LAWRENCE: We are not very much like straight culture; (it) and the gay culture are totally different things. There is a definite gay culture, and it is a very friendly, a very bonding community.

CHRISTOPHER: I know who I am and I can't change it so I've learned to accept it as best as I can. However, I would not wish it on anybody. . . . That's not saying that I'm not happy with who I am, because I am. I'm making the most of it, (but) I wouldn't wish the trials and tribulations of a young homosexual on anybody.

LAWRENCE: I have a question for you: If you had to choose _ if you had a choice _ would you choose to be gay?

CHRISTOPHER: I would choose to be straight.

LAWRENCE: I would choose to be gay. Being gay has forced me to revamp my life and to change the way I deal with people. . . . I'm very happy in the gay culture, in the gay community. There's so much to be involved in.

`Coming out'

CHRISTOPHER: My introduction to you isn't, `Hi, I'm Chris, I'm gay. How are you?' The only time it comes up is if somebody has a question about my sexuality. And usually there isn't much of a question when I go out into the real world. We keep ourselves sheltered here (at IYG).

LAWRENCE: Well, that also deals with "coming out" (telling others you're gay) _ which is a lifelong process. It takes forever, because you have to deal with every new person you meet. Should I come out to this person? Should I tell this person I'm gay?

You know, it's something that you have to assess with every family member, every friend and every person that you're in contact with. . . . Everyone that I relate to in my life knows I'm gay: all of my friends, all of my family, everyone that I deal with, all of my workmates, all my bosses.

KEITH: But when I first came out of the closet, it was about two years ago, and basically I just learned to . . . be who I am. . . . I felt that it was really necessary because it's not good for you to keep things locked up too long inside of you.

LAWRENCE: I started telling people because it's an important part of my life. It's an important fact about me . . . and I was tired of lying.

Being accepted

LAWRENCE: The first day I walked into gym, my first class as a freshman, my teacher walked up and said, `All right . . . I know about you. And there'll be no pooh-poohing in my locker, babe.' That was the kind of attitude that I went to high school with.

If you are gay and something like that happens to you, you don't report it. You don't go to your principal and say, `Well, I was accused of being gay by this teacher,' because they're not going to listen to you. They're going to tell you to get out of their office.

BARRY, 18: In a way, I guess (my employers) kind of feel like I'm unreliable and incompetent. And I proved them wrong, most definitely. I confronted them and told them that my sexuality has nothing to do with my work performance. It helps. Being honest and being blunt is kind of a shock, but it's the best way to get it done. And I did it, and it did help me. . . . I don't think it's as much being accepted because you're gay as being accepted as a human being.

CHRISTOPHER: It's hard for kids to realize that someone that they grew up with, went to summer camp, played sports with, all of a sudden wham! (they find out he's gay).

LAWRENCE: For a long time I was very suicidal. . . . It was (because of) the fact that you were just taught to hate yourself. I mean, you were taught that you were this horrible evil thing. And it wasn't that people were telling you that . . . it was a very internal thing. You believed that you were this horrible evil person so why should you go on living?

Who taught me to hate myself? The people I went to school with . . . because I am gay. They teach you _ your parents, everybody around you, society in general.

CHRISTOPHER: We gotta work hard because first we gotta prove that what we are we are not freaks. Then we gotta prove that we can do whatever we are doing and that our sexuality doesn't get in the way of our performance.

Indiana Youth Group

LAWRENCE: This group has developed into being for people who are self-identified as being gay and lesbians. Not people who might be gays and lesbians. . . .

The majority of the people here are fairly intelligent. We are able to hold discussions and talk about things that affect us. It is always interesting to hear people's opinions. It's a nice place. It's a safe place. It's a family.

CHRISTOPHER: If nothing else, this is a social place. You can use it as a place to meet other young gays. . . . (If you're gay), call the hot line . . . find out where the meeting is and come to it. Come with a friend that you know is gay. Come with somebody who is in the youth group. Just get here.