BEST BUDDIES OPEN HEARTS

 While most students at Westlane Middle School are in a hurry to get home to hang out with their friends, some stay after school to play sports, serve detention or attend club meetings. A handful stick around to make new friends.

Erin Doss, 13, is one of the latter. “I want to have a connection with kids that will last for a long time,” she said, explaining why she joined Best Buddies, an international nonprofit organization that pairs students who have disabilities with those who don’t.

Best Buddies was founded in 1989 by Anthony Kennedy Shriver, son of Eunice Kennedy-Shriver, who founded Special Olympics. Starting with only one chapter, Best Buddies is now at 1,500 colleges, high schools and middle schools on six continents, involving 700,000 students in 2010.

“Best Buddies is a very unique organization in that we really focus on that one-to-one aspect … so that (the students) are able to really form a natural, genuine friendship and a strong bond,” said Kristen Johnson, program manager for Best Buddies Indiana.

In Indiana, Best Buddies is offered at 49 high schools and 16 colleges, and Westlane is the state’s first middle-school chapter. Johnson said interest is growing so much that there is a waiting list for schools wanting to create programs.

“I think they should offer Best Buddies at more middle schools because it’s really a great opportunity for any kids who want more friends,” Erin said.

Independently, the pairs do the things all friends do – eat lunch together, watch movies, have sleepovers, talk on the phone, exchange e-mails and go to parties. The chapter also has monthly activities and opportunities outside of school for the pairs to get together. For example, they had a Thanksgiving Party where participants watched a movie, made paper turkeys, and just had fun.

 “Best Buddies is fun all the time,” said Helena Spychala, 12.

The socialization extends beyond Best Buddies events. Students say they are gaining an even wider circle of friends through their buddies. “Both of our groups of friends have gotten bigger,” said Zoe Uriesman, 13, referring to her buddy, Kassidy Schneider, 15.

The students agree that their pairings are becoming true friendships. “You can treat them like all your other friends, so you don’t really have to treat them any differently,” Erin said. “It’s just another person to hang out with.”

Shannon Lamb participated in a group similar to Best Buddies before graduating from North Central High School in 1990. She was born with Williams syndrome, a genetic condition, and is one of two Special Olympians who will receive Gold Dance Test Medals for mastering dances required of U.S. Figure Skating competitors.

Lamb joined the group to make new friends. “I think friendship, for me, is the most important thing in life,” she said.

She also wanted to dispel any misconceptions that students might have about others with special needs. “I wanted them to know that I can do some of the same things they do.”

 Amy Starzynski, a special education specialist with the Indiana Department of Education, says programs like Best Buddies allow individuals with “exceptionalities” to build true friendships with people of varying abilities.

 “These friendships benefit students with special needs in that they help each individual to become more confident in his or her life, which then allows them to more smoothly navigate life,” she said.

 Johnson points out that the other students benefit as well.

“It’s so important to plant the seeds of acceptance and respect at this vital age, at this young age, so that they can then carry it with them into high school and into college and into their adult lives,” she said.

It’s been a valuable experience for Lucy Lahr, 14. “It’s made me realize that everyone’s the same,” she said.

While some parents might be skeptical about putting their children in a program like Best Buddies, it is ultimately a good opportunity for all participants to gain understanding. Melinda Zore, special education supervisor at Westlane, says the program has many rewards, especially “seeing the parents of my students realize that their children can have the friendships they’ve always wanted for them.”

Being in Best Buddies isn’t just about making friends, but making memories that will last a lifetime. Zoe said one of the highlights of 2010 was when she threw a big surprise birthday party for Kassidy.

“She was so happy,” Zoe recalled.

Copyright 2011 Y-Press