WRITING CAN BE A FUNNY THING, BUT IT'S FUNNIER WHEN IT'S BARRY

Despite the fame and the Pulitzer, Dave's still just a hard-working `weirdo.'

Weasel and booger. How many writers regularly use these words? And how many writers get them in print in more than 400 newspapers across the United States?

Only one we know of: Dave Barry.

How does he do it? Barry tries to explain it in this passage from his book Dave Barry Talks Back.

"I've learned certain fundamental truths about humor. One of them is that weasel is a funny word. You can improve the humor value of almost any situation by injecting a weasel into it.

"WRONG: Scientists have discovered a 23rd moon orbiting Jupiter.

"RIGHT: Scientists have discovered a giant weasel orbiting Jupiter.

"WRONG: U.S. Rep. Newt Gingrich.

"RIGHT: U.S. Rep. Weasel Gingrich."

Barry, a self-confessed weirdo, is based in Miami, but his syndicated column is run by papers in many other cities, including Indianapolis. His column appears in The Indianapolis Star every Monday (please finish reading our page before turning to it). Through his strange sense of humor, Barry manages to provoke a smile and usually a hard laugh from all of his readers.

During a recent telephone interview with Children's Express, Barry talked about many topics, such as his outlook on life, his popularity with kids today and the television show Dave's World, which is loosely based on his life.

Understanding the mind of Dave Barry seems to be a complicated task. One minute he could be telling you something that makes you think, the next he could say that his sense of humor comes from his "kidneys."

Overall, he was just a relaxed regular guy with a fun outlook on life.

"If today you read in the paper that the world is in terrible shape and society is going to hell and that kind of stuff, that kind of doom story, my immediate reaction is make fun of that," said Barry.

"I write about the same kinds of things that other people write about, but I don't try to accomplish anything. I try to amuse people. All I'm trying to do is entertain people and make them happy, not really make them think."

Might look easy, but it isn't

The experiences Barry gained writing at Haverford College, near Philadelphia, provided him with the skills necessary to later bring his clever, comical and sometimes dumb ways to The Miami Herald, where he has been for 12 years.

To the regular reader, his column might seem easy to write. However, according to Barry, his job involves a lot of thinking and hard work.

"I think to be a good writer you have to spend way, way more time on the real mechanics of it, the nuts and bolts of it, to choose just the right word instead of almost the right word.

"You start with almost any joke and it's almost always fairly obvious. You know if you want to make a joke that says it hurts to have a toothache, nobody's going to see humor in that. But trust me, if you sat down and spent enough time thinking about toothaches and how they feel in life, you could make it funny."

Another challenge is just coming up with a column every week. "You can't call in sick. You can't have somebody else do it for you," Barry explained.

Barry is so respected for his work that in 1988 he was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in commentary, the highest honor a journalist can receive. Unlike others, Barry wasn't overwhelmed.

"I don't think of myself as a prize-winning anything. I'm not a serious columnist. I don't write about important issues. So I was really very surprised when I won it, but it was a tremendous feeling of relief because when you win it, then you don't have to win it. It's gone. Otherwise at some point, I guess, in my life I'd say, `Gee, I never won the Pulitzer Prize.' Now I don't have to say that."

Barry's passive reaction to the award seemed strange until we heard his definition of success.

"As far as being a humor columnist and getting in a whole lot of newspapers, no question, I feel I'm a success," he said. "This is going to sound hokey. But I think what makes you successful has a lot more to do with how people you know feel about you and how you treat people you know than by how many columns you wrote or how many got printed."

Still, his fame has provided him with opportunities that are usually off-limits to other writers. He recently appeared on The Late Show With David Letterman and set fire to a pair of underwear with a Barbie doll. He also got the chance to ride in a fighter jet.

"Everybody told me what a great experience it is," Barry said. "(The pilot) flew it upside down and loops and stuff like that. It didn't seem to affect the pilot but it was not good for me. . . . I threw up."

Teens getting into Barry

Barry was once considered a writer strictly for the baby boomer generation because he occasionally writes about topics such as babies and taxes. However, he said teen-agers are discovering and reading his work more and more.

"I get an awful lot of mail, a tremendous amount of mail, from younger people - teen- agers. I guess I'm popular with kids because I think they're used to seeing adults, especially adults in the newspaper, write about scary things, write about serious things and above all write about boring things," he said.

"It's probably nice for them to come across somebody who's not trying in any way to be serious. So maybe that's it. Either that or kids today are just messed up."

Barry's reputation for outrageous writing grew to the point that he became the subject of a sitcom, Dave's World, which airs at 8:30 p.m. Mondays on CBS. The show is loosely based on two books he has published, Dave Turns 40 and Dave's Greatest Hits.

Former Night Court star Harry Anderson plays Barry, but the real Dave Barry doesn't exactly match the Dave on the show.

"It's kind of misleading in a way to call the show Dave's World and have the guy named Dave Barry," he said. "If I could change that, I would, but it's kind of too late to do it now. It is its own thing. I like it, it's funny. But the plots have never really been that close to my life."

So Barry still focuses on churning out a column week after week for his loyal readers. But will he ever run out of creative energy and stop writing? Doubtful.

"I'm going to continue as long as I can," said Barry. "If I'm 89 years old and I'm writing columns and finally somebody comes in and shoots me in the head, then I guess I'd quit. It would have to be like a really direct hit to my brain. Otherwise I'd probably keep writing."

We'll try to keep the snipers away, Dave.

EDITED BY: Matt White, 16. ASSISTANT EDITOR: Heidi Harrison, 14.