CURRENT AGE: 18
MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
Directed by: Michael Bay
Release date: 2011
Length: 155 minutes
Rated: PG-13
Few films can flawlessly appeal to the sensibilities of a 6-year-old boy. Such a motion picture would have to include giant animated action figures, characters with little depth, juvenile suggestive jokes, and action so insanely over the top that any prude’s jaw would drop.
The third entry in the Transformers series captures this spirit successfully. It’s long, it’s crude, it’s shallow, and it’s a heck of a lot of fun.
The film picks up two years after the conclusion of the last, with the Autobots (the good robots) still trying to rid the world of the Decepticons (the bad robots). Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky is graduating college and trying to get a job. However, after saving the world twice alongside his alien allies, all he wants to do is join the fight to protect the planet. He gets his chance when hundreds of Decepticons, who are discovered on the moon, descend on Earth for a hostile takeover.
The plot, unlike the disjointed mish-mash of the second film, has slightly more focus and suspense this time around, and the thrilling hour-long climax carries much more urgency as our heroes race against the clock to save the planet. There are several niggling pacing issues where major decisions made by the characters are given no explanation, but, for the most part, it works well.
As in the last two films, the acting isn’t terrific, to say the least. Shia LaBeouf as Sam is a great comedian, but it’s hard to take him seriously in the latter half of the movie, when he becomes an action hero. His new love interest, Carly, played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, is just there to look pretty, although she is suddenly given great weight in the film’s closing act when she becomes relevant to saving the world. Most of the other characters are either in short cameo roles that don’t fit well with the context of the film or are simply lacking in emotional depth. The fact that you’ll care so little is one of the film’s biggest drawbacks. The real stars here are the giant toys, and they perform well. Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime is at his heroic best, and Hugo Weaving as Megatron is grimly terrifying.
The film’s gorgeous effects absolutely dazzle, justifying its obscenely large budget. The massive robot battle sequences are a visual thrill, throwing in stylized slow motion and a breathtaking number of fiery blasts. The effects don’t skimp on the details, though, and even when the camera zooms in close to one of the metallic titans, a complicated series of whirring gears and spinning screws can be seen, giving the robots a real sense of life. There are plenty of exhilarating practical effects as well, such as a sequence involving some soldiers sky-diving into a bombed city. All in all, if you plan on seeing it at all, the stupendous action set pieces make viewing the movie on a big screen a must.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is pure, unadulterated cheese: It includes every action cliché in the book and tosses in truckloads of irreverent humor that only some will find funny. Nearly every character is flat. Many plot choices feel arbitrary and are used just to move things toward the climax. And the lengthy running time of two hours and thirty-five minutes might grate the nerves of some, particularly during the opening act, which seems to drag.
However, none of these cons really count if you enjoyed the first two flicks for their high fun and low intelligence levels. If you happen to be one of these people, go feed your inner 6-year-old’s hunger for gigantic explosions. You’ll have a blast. I’d give this a 5.5 out of 10 stars.